sejakduamenjak :2013

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,100 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 52 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.


Tough Love

I just watched Ender’s Game.

As I drove home from Kuala Selangor, I reflected back on the drama happened this morning. And how the movie somehow resonates the dilemma of leadership.

*Names and subjects are changed as this story is just about the lesson within it, not to shame the person*

Today was a working day for me, as it will until Friday.

As I walked along the corridor towards the office, Boss beckons me towards him. PK 1 was leaning in and whispering as they watched me walked towards them.

Erkk. Was it my jeans?

She ushered me in the office, to see a woman with a student sitting on the waiting area. She looks familiar..

“Yes?” ” I’m A’s mother….”

Aaa..yes. ” …. I want to talk to you and the Boss about my child’s grade”

I smiled. Here we go again. Everytime the end of the year result’s are out.

She started to comment on something I cannot disclose here due to professional courtesy. Lengthy words of frustation of a mother, of whom I feel she has high hopes and feels her child deserves more. And how unfair the constitution did not reward her daughter publicly on Prize-Giving Day and her class teacher (read ; me), had ‘downgraded’ her child into the second class.

” Cikgu (-cikgu?) tak adil! Pilih kasih!!  Anak saya dapat banyak A tapi satu hadiah pun tak dapat!! ( The teacher/s  is unfair!  My daughter gets a lot of A’s but she did’nt get any prize!!)

I explained that although her daughter did get A’s, but there are more deserving students to get the prizes.

Clearly my reasonings, then my PK1 , and my colleague reasoning will not dampen her feeling of unsatisfied.

“Kalau macam ni, saya tak maulah bayar duit yuran, rugi jer… Asyik dapat kat orang lain jer..zaman dulu semua yang dapat A dapat hadiah” ( If this is the case, I don’t want to pay the school fees, just a waste of money.. its always other students getting the prizes. Before, all A students got prizes).

We stopped talking when the statement landed.

At this point, I hid my smiling mouth as I can’t believe the mother is actually sulking now. The more reasoning made her more animatedly angry.

” Rasa tak payahlah sekolah ni baca Yasin setiap hari Jumaat. Baca Asma-UlHusna jer. Tak ikhlas. Orang tak ikhlas ni ‘panas’ bila baca Yasin..” ( Don’t bother reciting the Yaseen every Friday. Just recite the Asma UlHusna.  You people are insincere. Reciting Yasin will ‘bother’ the insincere people..”)

At this point, I actually got up, said my excuse to my PK1 and the mother and left, because I was due to present a report and this is clearly going nowhere.

I heard as I left: the mother said ; ” Jangan pusing cerita. Saya tak puas hati ni. Saya nak jumpa GB. Kalau macam ni baik tukar sekolah jer ( Don’t twist the story. I’m not satisfied. I want to see your boss. Maybe my daughter should just change school)

My  PK1 replied; ” Takpalah Puan. Terpulang. Kalau nak borang, sila ambil pada kerani sekolah yer..” ( It’s up to you madam. The forms are with the clerk).

Hours after the presentations ended, I got a call in the meeting room. The mother had sign all the forms and asking for the personal files.

As I handed all the files, I looked at her older, other daughter in Year 5. ” Dia pindah jugak ker, kalau pindah jugak nak cari fail..?” ( Is she changing school too, cause I can help you find the files?).

I was being ironic of course. But oh so politely.

The mother was clearly subdued and smiled sheepishly. ” Tak.. adik die jer..” (No, just her little sister..”.

“Okay, so jangan lupa bagi fail-fail ni kat sekolah baru. Kirim salam kat A yer, tak sempat jumpa dia lagi..”.( Don’t forget to give these files at the new school. Send my love to her cause I have’nt got the chance to say goodbye..”)

A beat of a second. ” Terima kasih cikgu, kerana pernah ajar anak saya..” (Thank you for teaching my daugher.”

I smiled. I dont know what kind of smile. Tired? Stressed? Gladness?

A leader needs to know which battle are worth fighting for. Sometimes the choices are not the popular ones. You know you have to make a decision as a whole, for the whole.

People will hate you. Not a great feeling.

Different thank you-s in two days.

Thank You for The Future

School’s out for the year. The Class of 2013 has rung the last bell.

However, my working days are still a week a way. Time to ‘closing books and long last book’ have not ended yet.A lot of loose ends must be tied and packed away.


As i bid adieu to my classes, I felt that i could have done more for them. Sure, it was a great, productive year. I felt I had given all.I had learn from the best mentor, and from zero to a much more capable teacher. I felt like English was really my major.

Every teacher at the end of the year imagine their students walking into the next year class as a perfect human-child example of existence. Okay, so it was only my dream.

So, some of them are still smart-a** es (I mean that in the most loving way ;p). If I wanted robots that followed all my orders, I would had gone into Mecha-tronic Engineering. But shaping little humans is way more fun and i love the challenge.

Today, I also welcomed next year batch of students. Class of 2014. All new 41 faces.

Not much of a difference in terms of “smartness”. If I am still the class teacher next year, I will have my hands full again. I need to pull all the stops and all the tricks to keep them in line.

What fun that will be. Yay.

One story for today (because everyday is a unique story with kids);

I went around asking personal questions about the new class, and to fill time. The question was ” What does your parents do?”. Some of them were sons and daughters of teachers.

A girl, looking quite messy,whether from care or from play, put up her hand. ” Mak saya tukang urut di Singapura …” .(My mom is a masseuse in Singapore).  I did not ask in detail about the job because most of the students are poor. ” Your father?” ” Dia sakit.. (he’s sick)”. Poor her. Poor mom, i remembered thinking.

As i said goodbye ’till next year and hugged each one of them and saying take care, that girl suddenly ran back to me.

She whispered something to me. I said, ” What?”

” Terima kasih kerana mengajar saya tahun depan.. ( Thank you for teaching me next year)..”

I look at her messy face and felt something. I hugged her again and she ran down the stairs.

This is why I am a teacher. For one of these moments.

For many more moments to come.

Happy holidays to all my students. I will miss all of you wrecking up my life, 🙂

Temporary Blackout

Ritma kipas siling makin perlahan.

Mr Popper’s Penguin hilang dari skrin TV.

White noise lessen and lessen to a stop.

Only once a year this happens usually. Kerap lagi kalau di Limbang dulu.

Bingar kesunyian menyelubungi rumah.


I’m one of those people who sometimes thrives in silence. I don’t know why.

Mama, however, feels the need to fill the in blanks.

Minda berlegar mengingatkan blog yang sudah berkian lama sudah berhabuk. Keputusan UPSR. Sepupu sudah mendapat anak! Cuti sekolah. Tak dapat cuti lagi. Tukar? Tak tukar? Kerja kerja kerja.

Kemudian teringatkan permainan kad yang dibeli untuk waktu-waktu terluang. Waktu-waktu terluang yang seringkali sejakduamenjak ini diisi oleh idiotbox dan gajet-gajet yang memerlukan punca kuasa.

My geek side keeps UNO and Game of Life handy.

Playing the Game of Life in the stillness of the afternoon made me reminisce.

Those simple days of youth where we; my siblings and I; had nothing but each other to entertain. We had Monopoly, Scrabble, chess and UNO. We had the silliest fight over the ‘official rules’ of buying Park Lane or was zit an official word, or had UNO been said before the last card was put down.

One of the craziest moment of this 21st century was when my whole group sitting together during the LINUS course,BUT talk to each other via WhatsApp in our group forum. I’m thinking of sending my Avatar out sometimes to replace my physical presence. This is a joke, by the way.

Our physical form are present when we are with our loved ones but we minds and bodies are under influence of a third party.

Kami keluar untuk membeli lilin, kemudian pusing-pusing di sekeling taman melihat suasana senja.

“Rugi tak bawak G11..”

“Hmm…” jawab Mama. Then she continued her chatter.

When we turned the corner into my lane, the traffic light was already on again. The TV was on, and we sat down and looked at the idiotbox like nothing happened. The candles were put aside and so were my thoughts.

Then the lights went off again. The stillness again.

Alhamdulillah, my laptop was turned on as i was writing this. I opened the sliding door a bit for some air, light up the candles. And proceeded to type this.

Low chatter fills the room as i nod again and again to Mama.

“Welcome back, me” . I type to myself.

The months long hiatus was just a temporary blackout.

2014 is coming and I am praying for better things to come, and to write.

Insyallah. Amin.

Intergalactic Planetery : Class Photo 2013


It was that time of the year again.

My birthday was around the corner. My hands were itching to use G11 that’s been collecting dust. I miss it so much lately.

Since the past 2 years, I had been photographing my students for class photos with a twist.  Around July.In a way, it was kind of like a personal way of celebrating another year of life.

All of them had themes. All of them had props. And to add to the joy is that they had to prepare the props themselves.

In 2011, it was Carnivale.

Last year was Fairytale.

This year’s, by far, I thought was the most enjoyable and interesting. Presenting,  in full techni-multi-colour , the best of Class Photo 2013 : Intergalactic Planetary ( Robots ). Credits to Beastie Boys.




Coming soon, behind the scenes of Class Photo 2013 : Intergalactic Planetary.



its 230am in the morning.

tried to sleep from 11pm. awoke.after 2 hours. still cant fall asleep.

another 3hrs to wake up for sahur.

as i blamed the supermoon for my sudden insomnia, i lay awake wondering what to do.

this rarely happens. nearly everytime my head hits the pillow, just needs a few winks then im off till subuh.

what is this feeling that kept me awake?

then i realised its hunger. its so subtle in the stomach but its like a fight or flight response fot me to keep awake to find food.

i have food for iftar just now, Alhamdulillah. i still have food on the fridge for tomorrow`s  sahur too. alhamdulillah.

this made me felt humbled. there are people out there who has been hungry and still is hungry because of no food. no choice.

a great awakening in the middle of the night. in the middle of ramadhan.

as the feeling of hungriness spreads to the legs and my mind is numbing, but still cant sleep, i wondered if i should just eat now.

ya Rabb, help those of our brothers and sisters that is hungry without food and full of desperation. the ones that needs help.give them strength. give them courage. give them hope.

feeling fatigue now. wondered if finally i can sleep. wallahuaqlam.

salam nuzul al-quran. ihya Ramadhan.

Meet The Parents

I told this story about my Parent-Teacher Interaction Day today at my FB wall:


Maybe I left that hanging with the aura that the day did not turn out as inspiring as i thought that it would be. On such a sad note.

But I did leave the classroom with another story. A story of perseverence, and simply a mother’s strong will. 

A story i spent nearly half an hour talking to this mother.

Mrs S. Her elder daughter has medical problems that needs to be taken to the hospital nearly everyweek. My student, the younger sister, F, always absent on the day because no  one will pick her up after school due everyone is at the hospital.

F is a really silent kid. I rarely hear her talk. So this is my conversation with her mother;

” So I’ve just knew about her sister’s condition. I understand why now F is always absent.”

” Yes, her elder sister always need to see the doctor. She (elder sis) now also has develop problems with one of her eye. And the medical conditions (maybe) made her a bit slow ( in learning)”

I looked over at the elder sister looking at my noticeboards in the classroom. The ones with the sticker charts. She grazed her fingers slowly over the stickers and started to count them slowly.

I turn to look at Mrs. S. Confident, smiling. Never a moment of weakness.

 “F is always silent in class. Is she always like this at home? I ask this because i worry maybe something is bothering her or anything..”

 ” Oh no, she is always like that. She the silent one at home. Always like to spend time in her rooms and reading..”

 ” Wow, then she must be really clever to read so much..”

 ” She even have her own diary, Cikgu. Everything she feels she always write in them. “

 ” Its great for me to heat that she has an outlet to express her feelings, and someone so young to keep a diary! She must be really good in her essays..”

I told her about myself keeping diary in high school. Intermission.

” Do you know, Cikgu, when F wants to communicate with me, she always write me a letter, and i would reply at the bottom and she would reply back etc?”

 ” Wow! How interesting! ” ( How old school)

 “Yes, I always read her diary when she’s asleep, because who knows what happens during the day, and she rarely talks, and she wrote almost everything down. So I make a point to read and put back exactly where she hid it”.

I had to hold back my Wows at this moment. Because Mrs. S is such a great mother. Other moms would (maybe) have ignored the letter and diary, but she made a point to understand her silent child.

She went on to wow me further:

 ” SInce her elder sister , and sometimes F , doesn’t like to memorize the Surahs from Quran maybe because its hard for them. I try to make it enjoyable to them by looking up on youtube, and asking them to memorize by listening and repeating. I tried by rote learning but it seems they enjoy the youtube more.Now they almost can memorize all that they should be knowing..”

She ended with such a proud smile. I smiled. I love her story.

There’s more:

” I am going to open up a blog for her to write in. She’s interested in computer.  So I said to her; Kakak, later Ibu make a blog then you can write in it…”

Mrs. S, a housewife with so many means  and and idea. I love her already.

 ” Wow” ( I can’t help myself really, at this point)

 ”  Who knows she will become a famous writer one day? I would want to visit her blog too..”

” Its great that you put up such effort for your kids. Rarely i hear such stories from parents that go beyond the usual means to help their children. Because most of the time i hear, she/hes always like that, Cikgu. You just do what you can do with my kid teacher, i dont mind one bit. .. but you, you have the initiative. An inspiration really.”

Not one moment of weakness because of her challenged-children. Lucky girls to have such a great mom. Alhamdulillah.

I sent the three of them off with such goodfelt feeling in the heart that restored my faith in humanity.

The worst and the best story of the day. May I of all, and we learn something from the experience He has given me today.


Eulogi Kepada GB


Sedang saya niatkan bacaan yasin tadi kepada Allahyarham bapak saya, Tok Wan Paq, Tok Intan, Tok ‘Jar..dan kemudian saya teringatkan Allahyarham Cikgu Sahat, bekas guru besar saya dahulu yang baru-baru ini meninggal. Air mata bergenang.

Saya teruskan pembacaan yasin dengan tenang, kemudian lama-kelamaan semakin sebak mengingatkan beliau. Terlalu sebak sehingga saya berhenti sekejap.


Kerana dia bukan sahabat baik saya.Kami telah berhenti bertanya khabar secara profesional sejak saya pindah.

Kenapa saya sebak sebegini? Saya imbas kembali kenangan bersama beliau tatkala saya duduk berfikir.

Sewaktu saya ditempatkan di sekolah itu di Limbang, beliau merupakan antara orang pertama yang menyambut kehadiran saya dengan penuh besar hati. Dikenalkan saya dengan semua guru, ditunjukkan di sekeliling sekolah. Dan yang paling saya ingat sekali, sewaktu perhimpunan pagi, satu ayat yang sentiasa terngiang di minda saya..

“..kita haruslah bersyukur mendapat seorang guru dari semenanjung yang sanggup datang mengajar di sini..”

Wah! Saya yang ilmu yang sungguh ciput sewaktu itu terasa sungguh dialu-alukan, walaupun guru baru tetapi terasa seperti Tokoh Guru pula.

Beliau bersifat terbuka kepada cadangan dan aktiviti baru kepada sekolah, mungkin kerana pada usia yang agak lanjut beliau (sewaktu itu) sedang menyambung pengajian di peringkat ijazah sarjana muda. Tahun kedua saya di sana, terus dijadikan Guru Sains Tahun 6.

What? Saya tak percaya dengan kebolehan saya. Tetapi mungkin dia nampak potensi. Wallahuaqlam. Beliau sangat menyokong sebarang usaha untuk meningkatkan prestasi tahun 6.

Saya masih ingat lagi suara beliau. ” Chegu..”. A slow drawl; dalam bahasa inggeris. Kalau bahasa melayu mungkin suara perlahan tapi jelas (?).

Hari itu hujan. Saya dan seorang lagi guru tahun 6 sedang menunggu sampan untuk ke seberang sungai untuk kelas Tahun 6 pada hari Sabtu. Saya memegang penuh tangan plastik buku aktiviti yang difotostep. Sedang derupan hujan di atap Tamu Limbang, sedang saya fikirkan bagaimana hendak melintas sungai sebegini, terdengar suara itu;

” Chegu Lisa…”

” Yes, GB?” . Saya sengih tengok beliau memakai baju hujan berhud, kaki seluar senteng dan berselipar.

” Mau ka Gadong ka?”

“Auk, GB. Kelas Tahun 6 ku sama Madam.”

Dia angguk perlahan, sambil mata kuyunya berfikir. He then cracked a joke, in his signature way and laughed. Kami ketawa, tak ingat kerana sebab lucu, atau meringankan bebanan situasi semasa.

“Ba, chegu. Hati-hati kita menyeberang. Aku ada hal ba di bandar..”

“Ba, ba GB. Berdudun tah kita..”

His ability to be cool,unnerving sometimes contrast the way the other times he cracks jokes. All in all, although all humans have their own failings, he was among the people I respected most in the profession.

Hampir kesemua aktiviti sekolah, dia mesti hadir. Pagi, petang..mesti nampak kelibat beliau di sekolah. Mesti ada topi sukan itu di atas kepala.


Our best moment together. Hari Raya peringkat Zon A 2010. Arwah GB 4 dari kiri baris belakang.

Saat manis tatkala tahun-tahun terakhir saya di sana. 2009, setelah kejayaan murid-murid Tahun 6 mencapai antara keputusan terbaik, beliau, saya dan Madam J telah menerima Anugerah Prestasi Cemerlang pada majlis yang sama. Tahun hadapannya beliau sempat menghadiri majlis konvo sendiri bersama keluarga tercinta beliau.

Kenapa saya menangis?

Kerana apabila saya naik pick-up buat kali terakhir untuk meninggalkan sekolah lama saya, saya pusing untuk melihat beliau menitiskan air mata. Pertukaran saya sampai berita hanya pada hari terakhir persekolahan.

” GB, jangan nangis GB..” Saya cuba melucukan suasana.

” Nda ba. Indak ku pikir kau dapat (tukar) ba.”

” Terkejut ka GB?”

” Auk. Adoi, sedih jua ba.”

Dalam kata-kata terakhir beliau semasa serah tugas, beliau berkata beliau redha dengan perpindahan saya kerana mungkin saya akan lebih belajar secara profesional di tempat yang lain, berbanding dengan sekolah kecil itu. Dia doakan saya berjaya di mana saja saya berada.

Kemudian saya sibuk di sini dan tidak berhubung, sekadar ucapan selamat untuk hasir-hari kebesaran. Sempat saya ucapkan ” Get well soon, GB” sewaktu mendengar dia masuk hospital dan dia balas dengan cara positifnya, sentiasa bergurau.


Terima kasih atas segalanya. Cikgu Sahat, kerana memberi peluang untuk saya belajar menjadi pengajar.

Ayat terakhir Surah Yasin saya akhiri eulogi ini:


Female Friendship Truths

Ini saya petik dari artikel 18 Female Friendship Truths by (the film) Bridesmaid di laman sesawang

Sungguh tepat beberapanya walaupun secara realitinya hanya mengaku dalam hati!

Saya hanya pilih beberapa yang menepati gaya budaya peribadi dan lokal. Sila check jika ia berlaku dalam persahabatan anda 😉

:: Girlfrens - Karya 2010 Pesta Limbamg::

:: Girlfrens – Karya 2010 Pesta Limbamg::

1. Sesi meluahkan perasaan antara girlfrens adalah seperti penyucian jiwa, tetapi lebih mendalam.

2. Kalau kawan kita tidak suka kepada seseorang, kita akan automatik tidak suka kepada orang itu juga tanpa mengetahui sebabnya.

3. Apabila sahabat terbaik kita berjenaka mengenai inside joke dengan orang lain, sesuatu di dalam hati kita terasa seperti tercalar.

4. Kadang-kadang kita hanya perlu memberi sebuah pandangan kepada sahabat kita, dan dia sudah faham apa maksud kita.

5. Kita boleh berbual mengenai perkara yang amnya gila, tetapi sahabat baik kita tak pernah akan mengadili.

6. Kita juga pernah buat perkara gila secara amnya, dan mereka masih tak akan mengadili.

7. Kalau kita sedang menhadapi emotional breakdown dan tidak dapat menghubungi kawan kita, kita akan menjadi gila.

8. Apabila kita perlukan kata-kata perangsang, mereka akan memberikannya.

9. Girlfrens kita akan faham mengenai obsesi-obsesi kita walaupun sebagaimana pelik.

10. Apabila menghadapi drama perhubungan, mereka akan berada di situ untuk mendengar bahagian-bahagian buruk.

11. Jika kawan anda tidak suka lelaki yang anda sedang minati, kita akan berbohong mengenai dia kepada mereka.

12.Jika kita bertanya mengenai hidup kita kepada mereka,mereka akan bersikap sungguh jujur.

13. Jika kita bersahabat dengan lama dengan mereka, lama-kelamaan stail juga akan kelihatan seperti sama.

14. Jika kehidupan kita menuju ke arah kemusnahan, mereka tidak akan berfikir panjang untuk segera membantu kita.

15. Dan yang paling best, mereka akan sentiasa menyokong kita, bukan cuba ‘membaiki’ kita.

“It’s The Little Things That Makes You Happy..”

:: Biru Diraja::

:: Biru Diraja::

Sudah sampai!

Cenderahati-cenderahati saya dari Eropah!

Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih kepada yang empunya diri; kiriman ini, seperti dalam blog saya terdahulu, Europe Je’taime.

::Aura Eropah di Bumi Selangor::

::Aura Eropah di Bumi Selangor::

::  Hearts::

:: Sungguh…..::

Pinggan Komemoratif Perkahwinan Will & Kate, magnet peti ais kasut kayu Holland serta pemandangan sungai/gandola Venice.

Saya kekurangan satu item Eiffel Tower yang belum kunjung tiba. Hint * Hint *.

Saya terkenang satu cerita tatkala saya sedang mencari stokin sukan keliling rumah untuk pergi joging. Tiba-tiba saya terjumpa sepasang yang saya selitkan di tepi beg komputer riba saya :

“Alhamdulillah! Nasib baik Lisa berpandangan jauh!” saya kata kepada diri sendiri. Secara ironi jugak.

Mama yang sedang menonton TV tersengih, sambil melihat saya dan berkata dengan tawa;

“It’s the little things that makes you happy, huh?”

Saya jengilkan mata sambil tersengih sebab Mama sungguh menyelami.

It doen’t take much to make me happy.

Contohnya tengok pembelian saya yang baru:

::Sungguh kecik. Tapi sangat banyak perkataaan!"

::Sungguh kecik. Tapi sangat banyak perkataaan!”


::Mari mencari maksud cara oldskool::

Gaya studi SPM konon.

Mari menimba ilmu menggunakan kamus (kerana saya tiada telefon “pintar” untuk Google maksud).

I’m a geek and I’m proud of it.


*Berdoa supaya hujung minggu ini lebih baik dari yang lepas, dan yang seterusnya lebih baik dari minggu ini, serta diberi rezeki dan ketabahan atas apa yang bakal di masa hadapan. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

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